As some of you may or may not be aware, I have gone a bit awol recently! This is due to lots of uni work and general life issues. Most likely like a lot of other small time bloggers, I have my own issues which i'm not yet confident enough to post all over my blog. But for me March and April has been a very challenging time.
A time where I have lost all motivation, inspiration and general happiness. After reading a book for the bloggers book club i'm in, which you will hopefully be able to read a review of sometime soon. I have realised, that before I can continue something I actually love, and want to spend the rest of my life doing, I need to focus on myself and ensure that I am happy and am in a stable place in my life before continuing.
Although, I may be only turning twenty (or twenteen as I like to say) next sunday, but am talking as though I have had as much life experience as a thirty-six year old, I feel as though the past couple of months have really been a page turner for me. The past few months have opened my eyes to many things.
1. That I have some wonderful friends that really do care about me.
2. I have a lovely boyfriend that wants my happiness to be number 1.
3. That I have amazing parents that love me very much.
Although these things may all seem like simple day to day things, I have really lost track of what is in front of me recently and have been letting my life spiral out of control, leading me to a very dark and unhappy place.
But if anything, taking a break from something I love and letting everything be a bit messy for a while has put just about everything into perspective. Just about everyone has times in their life where they struggle and feel like they're going into melt down. As I have been saying to my friends recently I feel like I have been going through my quarterly life crisis, which is genuinely what it has felt like.
But I am beginning to feel happier, after realising the points I have mentioned above, I am realising that although I am a shopoholic (everyone get ready for the shock of the lifetime if you know how much I have been spending recently). That it is time for me to focus on things that are going to be around forever, not that lovely pair of shoes I bought in Topshop that look great but actually really really hurt my feet. But that my best friends are always there to listen to me and always make me smile, and that my boyfriend always has his arms open to give me a huge cuddle when I need it most, and that my parents, although we may nag at each other and sometimes seem like we don't care, we actually have a great relationship that I am so so fortunate and thankful for.
I'm not saying that I am going to be blogging every single day now, because that is just completely unrealistic. But for the first time in what feels like a decade, I have wanted to open blogger and just type away. I still have exams and deadlines coming up, and a crazy month ahead of me that is going to be a whirlwind of excitement. I finally feel like I'm getting back onto the track of happiness that I want to open blogger and just type away, showing you all what I have been doing, buying, and who I have been spending my time with!
Life is about what your debit card can't buy, not what it can buy.